Moving Mom & Dad — into a Village

What about moms and dads who really don’t want to move?

The problem of where to go and what to do about housing in the sometimes not-so-golden years has an assortment of solutions for those who prefer (and can afford) the retirement community or any of the multitude of assisted living communities around. But for those who are bound and determined to stay put in the old house or the long-familiar apartment? A collection of obstacles begins to accumulate.

Enter the village.

Swiftly catching on around the country, aging-in-place “villages” are designed to help  members overcome those obstacles by providing a variety of programs and services – while the members stay put. The prototype was Boston’s Beacon Hill Village, founded in 2001, which offers “groceries to Tai Chi to cultural and social activities to home care.” Others have popped up in states ranging from Colorado to New York, Florida to Nebraska, Massachussetts to Hawaii.

San Francisco Village was the second, after Avenidas in Palo Alto, to get off the drawing boards and into action in California. Although each Village differs from others, SFV illustrates many of the attractions that are drawing in the stay-put crowd. The organization began with some local grants and individual donations, and is sustained now by annual membership fees.

Sarah Goldman agreed, after a good bit of arm-twisting, to be a poster girl for SFV in upcoming stories for the neighborhood’s New Fillmore newspaper. Sarah was among the first to join the organization, and in many ways typifies the village member-enthusiast: fit, active and fiercely independent at 80, she plans to stay that way as long as humanly possible. Her first move, as a Village member, was in support of someone older still and desperately in need of help: her landlady. Goldman could see that the landlady, who also lived alone, was becoming forgetful and increasingly unkempt – the distress signals that often propel seniors into care facilities. So she began by talking the landlady into joining also. This paved the way for calling in, with the landlady’s approval, a wide-ranging group of service providers: house cleaners, organizers, financial assistance people, personal care helpers. All had been vetted by SFV. Their help has now enabled both landlady and tenant to keep right on aging in place.

Goldman also quickly started a program patterned after one she had organized when working with an assisted living community. SFV’s play-reading group was an immediate hit among those seeking socialization and intellectual stimulation. Three necessities of life — social, physical and mental fitness — added to issues such as those dealt with by the landlady, add up to the heart of the Village. Members hope that by accessing things like this while staying on familiar turf their golden years may indeed stay shiny.

This one hopes that SFV membership will help keep the contributions of this space emanating from this laptop on this Sacramento Street kitchen counter for a very long time to come.

Fear (and the high cost) of falling

My husband was face down on the floor of the breakfast room, stretched below the table with one hand resting beside a chair he had pushed into the corner. As I came up from the garage, returning from a long opera just before midnight, he called out, hoping to spare me from alarm or a heart attack of my own. This is the sort of scene that tends to cause alarm at any age. According to an article in last Sunday’s New York Times, a similar scene occurs with alarming frequency: more than one-third of people ages 65 or older fall each year, writes Steve Lohr in an “Unboxed” feature, “Watch the Walk and Prevent a Fall.”

In our recent case, all was soon well. My husband had lost his balance while setting dinner on our not-too-sturdy table, and more or less slid to the floor. Still recovering from spinal fusion surgery 8 months earlier, he had done everything possible not to break anything — old bones or new rods and bolts that is; he wasn’t worried about the china — as he went down. But once down, getting back up was not an easy assingment. You know those awful “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up” ads? Believe them. He tried shoving a chair into the corner to gain traction, but soon realized there was not enough strength in his lower legs to do the job, and decided just to wait. (Some people do carry cell phones… but that’s another story.) At 6’3″ and over 200 pounds, Bud outweighs me approximately two to one, so my getting him up was, we already knew, not an option. Happily we have a neighbor who seldom goes to bed early. Once he came over and the three of us strategized a while we were able to set my husband upright again. More specifically, John and Bud accomplished the deed; I supervised. Bud was tired and hungry, but otherwise fine.

Most of the falling elderly are not so lucky. About one fall in 10 results in serious injury such as a hip fracture, according to the Times story. Some 20 percent of older adult victims of hip fractures die within a year. If that weren’t enough to get one’s attention, reporter Lohr writes that “the estimated economic cost of falls ranges widely, up to $75 billion a year in the United States, if fall-related home care and assisted living costs are added to medical expenses.”

The last time I fractured my ankle, which I tend to do with dismaying frequency, I grumbled to a friend about “that dumb accident.” There are no smart accidents, she replied. (I was running late, and carrying a very large empty computer box down the stairs.) And this is a good thing to keep in mind. Somewhere not far past the age of 50 (I throw that in for all those weekend soccer-playing dads) bone breakage gets easier and healing begins to take longer. Somewhere a little farther along in the aging process, falling takes over from dumb accidents as #1 cause.

“Watch the Walk and Prevent a Fall” focuses on early research, backed by the National Institute on Aging, into the relationship between activity patterns and falls. “Fall prevention also promises to be part of an emerging — and potentially large — worldwide industry  of helping older people live independently in their homes longer,” Lohr writes. New technologies such as sensors that track behavioral and activity patterns will play growing roles in fall prevention, along with customized exercise programs and close attention to the role of medications.

Considering the risks and the cost, fall prevention may fast claim serious attention. But for now, especially if you’re over 65: get up slowly, watch your balance, and be careful setting your dinner plate down on a wobbly table.