Thanks, Brittany

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Brittany Maynard, 1984-2014

No one was surprised by the news of Brittany Maynard’s death on November 1, as she had planned. The news arrived in my Inbox late Sunday night, November 2, in an email from Compassion & Choices, an organization I have supported — as a volunteer, Northern California board chair and in all other ways — for well over 15 years,

What Brittany did for Compassion & Choices, and for you and me, though, far exceeds what any one person might ordinarily have done. Hers was an extraordinary demonstration of how to live, and die.

More of how she lived will continue to be in the news. But it’s how she died, with generosity and grace, that is worth noticing right now. Just to touch on a few things:

Brittany, in making her own choice, showed us how to make our own choices. Demand the right to control your destiny, she was saying. Fight for legalized aid in dying. Complete your own advance directives and make sure EVERYONE in your family and circle of friends knows what your own wishes are. Death with dignity was Brittany’s choice, and she wanted it to be yours — if you choose.

“The freedom is in the choice,” Brittany said.  “If the option of Death With Dignity is unappealing to anyone for any reason, they can simply choose not to avail themselves of it.”

Brittany was irate over insinuations that she had been “manipulated” by anyone. She was a strong, educated, independent, intelligent woman who led a joy-filled life and confronted its abbreviated end with remarkable courage. The reality was simply that she took control of her own final months, weeks, days, by moving to Oregon where aid in dying is legal. The reality is that she wanted her life — and death — to have meaning for all of us. She hoped that by sharing her story all of us might benefit.

It’s about freedom. Brittany, thankfully, is now free of the terrible pain her illness was bringing, a pain that was certain only to increase. Her family will mourn for a long time, but they are free of the pain and anguish that comes from watching someone you love suffer.

You and I are free to choose. We can continue to let those who hold differing views deprive us of our right to control our final weeks and days. Or we can fight to legalize our right to choose a compassionate death. Eventually, that right will prevail.

Thanks, Brittany.

Death with Dignity: How to crash a website

 

IMG_1580Among a long list of emails piling into my Inbox is one that says “Thanks to a particularly successful story on People.com the increased traffic has crashed our site. Please be patient as we yell and shake our fists at our web hosting company. We’ll be back up and running shortly.”

It’s from Compassion & Choices, an organization I’ve worked with for nearly two decades. Compassion & Choices is an excellent nonprofit, leader in the fight to make Death With Dignity — specifically, physician aid-in-dying for terminally ill, mentally competent adults — a right for all Americans.

This particular story is a People.com type of story: beautiful young woman dying of brain cancer, choosing to die with dignity and courage… and sadly having to move to Oregon to accomplish this. But similar stories, some with happy endings and some not, occur every day: men and women of all ages in the U.S. find themselves with terminal diagnoses and seek to control their final days and hours. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Though I’m no longer active in this capacity, for many years I served as a Compassion & Choices volunteer — trained C&C volunteers will help those who fit the criteria (terminally ill, mentally competent adults) understand their options. In California, which does not have a DWD law but hopefully will within the next few years, the best option is often to stop eating and drinking. Or sometimes just to stop taking the medications that are keeping you alive.  To be candid, some people also hoard life-ending medications and when their numbered days get to be very few — or their suffering becomes more intense than they feel worth the struggle — they stir those pills into applesauce and spend their final moments in peace, surrounded by loved ones and in the quiet of their own homes.

How in the world is this not a good idea? Why in the world is prolonging life to the bitter end, more often than not in a cold & sterile hospital room ever a better idea?

Brittany Maynard, the 29-year-old subject of the People.com story, is choosing to die on her own terms. Wouldn’t we all?