DO YOU REALLY WANT TO READ THAT ECHOCARDIOGRAM REPORT?
Photo by Lucas Vasques on Unsplash
Not for the faint-hearted: Echocardiogram Test Results Reports
Perhaps they are also not for the laity — you and me, the dummies whose hearts get echocardiogrammed and reported on, but what do we know?
I should’ve quit with the ‘sigmoid septum’ thing. The report said it was ‘normal variant with aging . . . and no evidence of outflow obstruction.’ Wouldn’t that be enough?
But no. Something in these official Reports hypnotizes you. You plunge ahead.
‘Mild diastolic dysfunction!’ Can one live with dysfunction in the diastol? I don’t know. I mean, I know dysfunction just about everywhere else . . .
It is, in all probability, dysfunctional by definition to read the report of one’s recent echocardiogram. So why in the heck do they send you the thing? To raise your blood pressure, perhaps. I read on.
Oh, lord, ‘Mild tricuspid regurgitation.’ That’s got to make you sick.
Plus, a lot of the report has to do with Teichholz formulas. Did I miss something in Human Biology 101? Dr. Teichholz had to have been there somewhere, unless he wasn’t born until after I passed Human Biology with a D minus/minus/minus. Still . . .
For now I just need to get finished with the particulars. It’s my heart they’re reporting about, after all. And if my excellent medical team didn’t want me to know these details, surely they would not have sent the Test Results Report for my edification and enlightenment?
We embark upon a ‘Tricuspid annular plane excursion, systole,’ followed by a ‘Lv ejection fraction.’ Does this sound like any fun to you? Personally, I read it as someone being on an excursion barely long enough (fractionally, that is) to eject. It’s enough to make your heart race.
Which mine did, until I got to the very bottom. At the very bottom of the Test Results Report is a message from my primary care doc, who just finished reading the same report. Could he have put this message in bold, and kept the rest to himself? He wrote:
“Fran, the echocardiogram is quite reassuring. Really nice to see. No concerns that need intervention at all.”
Oh. Okay.
Fran this one is hilarious!! After changing Dr (due to mine moving too far away) I went
through the testing and he pronounced me amazing!! But he ordered PT and they pronounced me a Unicorn!! Still plain OLD me!
Hugs, Doris
Let’s just keep unicorning along. Larry, older than either of us (😱,) continues to thrive so that makes us original plain OLD three — regardless of what the Test Result Reports say. Hugs back.
You are as fit as the proverbial fiddle!
We hope. Keep on fiddling.
HA! Fran, You, like most of us, read too much of the wrong materials! This was a time to skip quickly down to the conclusion. After that, if need be, to go back and read the full text for clarification. As my respondent, Mother Nature, I am collecting banjo music for your pleasure and my other readers amusement. RAINMAN
Oh, RAINMAN! I should’ve anticipated mild tornado with severe depression in areas. Oh, well. We weather these storms as they come. Keep strumming.
I love it! Well said dear sweet gran!
Thanks for warming my heart, #1