A CAREFULLY RESEARCHED SELF-HELP GUIDE
Photo by Megan te Boekhorst on Unsplash
1 — That small, niggly message from your stomach that says it needs a couple of peanut butter-filled pretzels. Maybe just three or four? Please? You can ignore this, but you can’t fix it — unless you get up and go find that bag of peanut butter-filled pretzels. Really bad for the teeth.
2 — The problems your favorite niece is having with her mother. OK, the parents’ divorce was hard on her and now she doesn’t like the stepfather. So she’s going to drop out of school and join her brother in the ashram. You can rewind that reel as many times as you want; it’s going to come out the same. Have you ever fixed anything with that bunch?
3 — Democracy. I know, I know. You should’ve signed up for another few hundred postcards or letters with Activate America or Vote Forward or whatever, but you quit. Should you get up and fill out another form? Or send $5 to a few more candidates? Before breakfast? C’mon. Really now.
4 — World hunger. You are in that tiny percentage of people around the globe able to hunker down in a comfy bed after a perfectly good dinner, without a care in the world. Guilt will not lull you back to sleep.
You could, however, get up and go find the bag of peanut butter-filled pretzels.
I’ve never craved peanut-butter pretzels at 3 AM…but now have that thought in my head. Oh dear.
Uh oh, I should never have raised this issue. Next, we’ll need to establish a support group for 3 AM peanut butter eaters, and that’s going to overload zoom in a hurry. I promise to search for something healthier next time. Still, thanks for dropping by.
Peanut butter is so good and so versatile. I like PB sandwiches with fresh fruit on them. Blueberries or pear slices or apple slices, for instance.
You’d be making a SERIOUS mess in bed with that at 3 AM. I think a super-understanding wife would be required.
We just bought some peanut butter filled pretzels. Now I’m going to be thinking about them in my sleep. 🙂
Uh oh. Seriously addictive, sorry about that.